A letter to piano parents and teachers: Why Your Child Doesn’t Practice – Holistique Pianism No. 3

You may feel drawn to or exhausted by advertisements for piano lessons that promise to improve children’s intellectual development.

Perhaps you believed those claims enough to sign your child up for lessons. And now you find yourself wondering whether they were true at all, because your child seems to dislike practicing.

Home practice and reading music notation are the two most common topics parents and teachers bring to me. I have encountered both challenges myself, and I have worked tirelessly to support the families in my studio.

It took me a long time to understand what was really happening.

Eventually, I found answers.

I would like to share what I have learned with you.

These ideas are meant to support educators, students, and parents alike.

I will walk you through the process step by step, with the hope of making piano lessons enjoyable, productive, and lasting.

There is a fundamental way in which human beings learn. What I describe here is not limited to piano study. It applies to learning in general.

First of all, learning music is meant to be enjoyable, and it takes time to mature.

Second, playing the piano does not have to be difficult when proper technique is introduced from the beginning, in small steps, and with care for the experience itself.

There is no quick fix, unfortunately.

The good news is that when we do not give up, growth does happen.

Seeds need time to germinate, grow, and bear fruit. They also need the right environment.

A plant that requires full sun will not thrive in the shade.

But once it is placed where it belongs, it begins to grow on its own.

So, how?

Our bodies, like our brains, go through their own developmental stages.

There are individual differences, of course. But just as a baby crawls before walking and never runs first, these steps are natural and should not be rushed or disrupted.

Let us look at how babies learn.

At first, babies can only see what is very close to them, such as their mother’s face. Even with limited vision, they can hear clearly.

Our ears play an important role in the operation of our life’s ecosystem.Around the ears lies a dense network of nerves. The eyes see, the ears hear, the mouth speaks and tastes, and the nose smells and breathes. All of these systems are essential to life.

Interestingly, vision develops later than eating, breathing, and listening. Vision requires a great deal of energy from the brain, so the body prioritizes other systems first.

This means that newborns listen before they truly see.

There are many reasons why babies respond so strongly to their mother’s voice. That sound provides food, care, and safety, everything necessary for survival.

If we imagine ourselves as babies, we live first in a world of sound. We may recognize our mother’s voice and then begin to distinguish other voices, perhaps a father’s or a sibling’s.

Through repeated experience, certain sounds start to carry meaning.

Gradually, sound and vision begin to connect.

This is the first stage of our lives.

Is this not more a process of growth than of learning?

In other words, we cannot learn deeply without direct experience. Learning arises from experience.

This means that learning must unfold naturally. It cannot be forced.

Why?

Because force is inseparable from stress.

When we experience stress, our body recognizes it as a potential threat and instinctively tries to avoid it. This survival response is deeply ingrained and not easily overridden, especially in young children.

As children grow, particularly around the age of ten, the outer regions of the brain begin to develop more rapidly. This supports more complex thinking and analysis. At this stage, children can begin to set goals for themselves and experience challenge without the same level of stress.

But what about younger children?

The parts of the brain responsible for logical and abstract thinking develop gradually over time. When children begin music lessons at a very young age, it is far more effective to let them lead with curiosity rather than to impose mechanical repetition or abstract concepts.

Abstract processing can easily cause confusion and stress. Young children need to move, sense, and feel what they are learning with their bodies.

These experience associated feelings of fun and enjoyment stimulate the learning process without placing stress on the brain, creating positive learning experiences.

It means that children play with the piano during their lessons, and they also play with the piano at home.

We may call this practice if necessary, but I prefer not to use that word in my studio.

Parental involvement plays an important role in creating a positive and supportive learning environment.

Children love their parents and naturally want to share what they enjoy. Parents do not need to become teachers or supervisors at home. Instead, they can simply be companions, present, listening, and sharing the moment.

Even when children play freely at home, they revisit what they experienced in their lessons.

This is the essence of organic learning.

They do not need to memorize anything.

They do not need to force themselves to practice.

When children enjoy what they are doing, they remember it.

There is no need to worry if they forget or misunderstand something.

These moments will be revisited and clarified over time.

Let us conclude this first phase, home practice.

Playing at home is truly valuable practice.

Children enjoy activities that are simple to complete. They naturally repeat what they can do and enjoy doing.This is a normal and healthy process.

As children grow, the way they play at home changes. At that point, I, as a teacher, can gradually introduce new elements into their home play.

The role of parents is simple but essential, to be present, to converse, and to share music together.

Children are highly sensitive to how their parents feel. When parents show disinterest, children often lose interest as well. If you truly wish for your child to learn the piano and grow as a musician, openness and shared enjoyment matter deeply.

Let us release one unnecessary assumption, home practice is a must.

When children want to play, they will. Our role is to create the conditions that invite that desire.

This is the key to overcoming the I hate practice mindset.

Playing the piano is exciting.