Entrance to Generalization: Holistique Pianism(9)

Lately I’ve been paying attention to small shifts in how I feel, especially around teaching and practicing.

I had one of those “oh!” moments in today’s Neuro-cise (a class where we study neuroscience through movement-based exercises), so I’m writing it down while it’s still fresh.

Lately I’ve been noticing something.

After lessons, I don’t get that old feeling anymore, the one where it felt like everything inside me had been completely drained out.

If anything, I tend to feel more alive after teaching, and even my own practice goes better.

Around Christmas I caught a really bad cold, and I ended up being in bed through New Year.

Even after my health came back, there was this strange discomfort that just wouldn’t go away.

It felt like my body and my brain weren’t in sync.

My body was going through the motions of daily life while my brain was half asleep somewhere.

Or sometimes my brain was buzzing while my body felt vague and loose, like it was floating.

In the first half of being sick I couldn’t eat for four or five days because my throat hurt so badly, and I had a fever. So sure, my energy was depleted. But still, this mismatch…

Yesterday I decided I couldn’t just stay foggy forever and sat down to practice for the first time in a while.

And honestly, it felt like I had forgotten how to play the piano.

Everything was scattered in every direction. What now? No idea. I gave up quickly.

I hadn’t moved my body at all for days, so I promised myself I’d start doing some exercises again.

Today was my first day back teaching. I was worried I’d be a mess, but as the lessons went on I could feel myself coming back.

I found myself thinking that the children’s energy was quietly refilling mine.

In a break I tried practicing a little, and I was shocked by how different it felt from yesterday.

Wait, what? Why?

I only lasted about 30 minutes before running out of gas, but it was really good practice. That surprised me.

Then I joined the Neuro-cise class.

When they were talking about how to improve generalization, something clicked.

In my lessons I’ve shifted to constantly observing and asking students how it felt first.And suddenly I realized: this must be why that old sticky exhaustion is gone.

What’s been happening lately is that when I focus on observing, my own body sensations come up too.

“Oh, my back is rounded.”

“My ankles feel cold.”

“I’m leaning and all my weight is on one side.”

This is it.

Directing attention outward while simultaneously picking up what my own body is sensing seems to activate our neural pathways, which supports the ability to generalize.

That’s why I’ve been feeling better after teaching lately.

Before, none of this was there. I’d only notice later: bad posture, stiff shoulders, all the time.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t sense it in the moment.

Wow. If this really helps generalization, I want to keep going.

Right now, as I type, I’m trying to raise my body awareness.

I ate too many cookies.

I feel very full.

😄